Trust

Since my cancer diagnosis almost two weeks ago, I have been overwhelmed with the love that I have experienced. From my family, for one. My entire family was here the day I found out…our kids, our grandkids, my dad, my brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. I mean, everyone. It was supposed to be a party for many family birthdays and Rick’s retirement. And we did celebrate. But our celebration was dampened with tears. Yet all those tears included more hugs and more expressions of love than I can tell you. My dad hugged me so close. My sister did…my brother…my son…my cousin…my stepdad. The love that surrounded Rick and me that day is impossible to describe, and it continues...

And despite all this love from so, so many, this morning I had to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my unbelief. Why? Because last night, I had a time of doubt. A time of wondering why all this is happening…how is it possible? But to ask why, to doubt, and to wonder is to question God’s love and His plans for me. As if the very Maker of the universe might now know what He’s doing, and as if I would know better!! God always sees the big picture. You and I cannot. I have no idea why I have cancer. But I don’t need to know those answers. What I am choosing to focus on is this: I know that God is love and that He loves all His children (1 John 3:1). The Lord knows all my ways, He knows all my thoughts, and He knows my words before I even speak them (Psalm 139:2-4). Psalm 121 is my current favorite. The truth in that psalm is that God is my Keeper. He keeps me from all evil ways, He keeps me in my going out and my coming in now and forevermore…He keeps my life! (Psalm 121:7-8). Knowing that God, the maker of the heavens and the earth, is my Keeper, what else could I possibly need know?

Amy Carmichael was a missionary in India for 53 years, from the early- to mid-1900s. She wrote a little book called, “If.” It’s a collection of thoughts on how serving the Lord challenges believers, and yet the rewards of serving and loving God is eternity with Him. Here’s a thought from “If”:

If, I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed;

If I cannot be trusted with disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery,

Then I know nothing of Calvary love.

May it be sufficient for me to know that the Lord will continue to sustain Rick and me through this trial of cancer, for the Lord has provided for us in this hour of trial more abundantly than I could ever ask or think. I pray that you will find this same peace, love, and comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ, now and forevermore. Let me know if I can pray for you, with you, or if you need a Bible.