Romans 5:6-8 ESV
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
My childhood was one of great abuse. My older brothers and I went through it all. Emotional, physical, spiritual, even sexual…you name it. Ours was a unique home. On the outside it was picture perfect. We were a blended family that was rooted in our local church. My late grandfather, Harmon Mills, was the pastor of that church.
We were well dressed, clean cut, well-behaved, and stayed out of trouble (most of the time.) Yet there loomed this dark secret that nobody else knew about. My stepfather, and mother, were abusive to the three of us. I do not want this to be considered some “hit piece” against them. Whereas I have long forgiven their abuse against me, I have never forgotten this aspect of my childhood.
You see, they wore such a beautiful mask. On the outside, it all looked great! Yet beneath that mask was the ugly truth. This darkness hung over our home like a cloud. One evening, after working both of his jobs, our stepfather came home in a particularly bad mood. He had a rough day at BOTH jobs, and when that happened, it usually didn’t end well for the rest of us in our home. One activity that would bring us closer to our stepfather, and I credit it to him as trying to be present and engaged, was to play video games with us. After rough days at work, at times, he would sit down with us and all 4 of us would play a game or two before bed.
Very unfortunately, I had accidentally erased the game he had been playing. I had been terrified to tell him…when he turned on the TV and the game, and saw that the file was erased, I could literally see the red build in his face. Sheer terror. Before he even said a word, my older brother spoke up. “I did it. I’m sorry.” Our stepfather put the controller down and said just one word to my brother…”bedroom.” We knew what this meant.
In that moment, my older brother took the wrath and punishment for my carelessness. What is so powerful in this moment is that my brother did so willingly. Without ANY sort of hesitation he took that punishment that was mine to bear for my mistake. This reminds me so fully of the truth of the Gospel. We see it in the Scripture above. “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I do not want it to be mistaken that my stepfather’s wrath is the same as God’s. God’s wrath is righteous. My stepfathers, in his own flawed humanity, was not. Yet this moment from my childhood is such a vivid reminder of the Gospel. My mistakes and sins…they are paid for. My due punishment….it was taken on the Cross. Most beautifully and humbling is the willingness in which Christ took this upon Himself.
Christ willingly died for me. To give me a path to redemption and to have a seat at the table. And you know what is most unbelievable? He did the same for my stepfather. So that he could take the mask off and sit honestly at that same table. To admit and repent from wrongdoing. As a sinner saved by pure grace.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!!!!
