Sin-Forgivable

John 8:56-58 (ESV) ⁵⁶ Your father Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day. He saw it and was glad.” ⁵⁷ So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?”^[d] 58 Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.”

One of the most utterly powerful moments in my adult life, is when God spoke to me audibly. I was on the rebound from the darkest moments in my life. I was ready to give in. I was in a darkness that I was sure was so thick that not even God would be able to shed His light through. I was ready to take my life…

Yet of course, my foolishness was put to silence by the sheer magnitude of how bright His splendor is. He pulled me out of that place in a way that was both gentle and violent all at once. Like a rushing wind that would tear a hole through great mountains yet felt like a cool breeze on a hot day. Gentle, refreshing, healing, and terrifying all at once.

Things were getting better after that incredibly dark evening. Yet, for whatever reason, I questioned why. It seems so illogical doesn’t it? Things are improving and a part of me didn’t want them to. In this moment I had bought in to so many lies. I was horrible. I was sinful. I was stupid and foolish. I was unforgivable. I was completely unlovable…

A few days passed and the turmoil didn’t abate. In this moment, my family had no idea of the warfare happening on the battlefield of my mind. A constant tsunami that could flatten islands that was sending me through wave after wave after wave of regret, pain, fear, grief, loss, and brokenness. At this moment, I do not know exactly why, but I told our kitchen Alexa to play some Shane and Shane…one of my all-time favorite groups…and my daughter’s favorite bedtime music on her little kids Alexa in her bedroom.

It picked up in the middle of the last song she was playing that she had put on pause. In the darkness the first words that I heard were like a hammer hitting an anvil in the dead of night, “My sins they are many, His mercy is more…Praise the Lord!” I immediately fell to my knees in my kitchen that afternoon, lifted my exhausted hands up to Him and began to worship Him.

Then, that gentle and yet unbelievably powerful rushing wind I mentioned earlier came through in a voice. It was the most magnificent thing I had ever heard in my life. It was peaceful, powerful, loving, eternal, impossibly deep….and yet simple.

“You are my beloved…”

Look at the Scripture for today. In the face of those who hated Him, Jesus calmly and honestly laid out before them the truth. He is the great “I am.” That being the supreme covenant name of God. He was not merely saying He had power…He was saying He IS power incarnate. The Lamb to be slain…The Lion of Judah…El Gibhor (look it up).

He is the Messiah that had been foretold. He is God! The Alpha and Omega. The Way the Truth and the Light! The Judge! The Atonement! Love and Power, Grace and Mercy…GOD!

How foolish was I to put my sin on a scale against that and to think that it amounted to anything in comparison. As if my sin was somehow greater than His ability to forgive. I look back and smile now.

Child, you are His beloved….your sin is forgiven, because He is a greater forgiver than we are a sinner.

Soli Deo Gloria!!!!